October 2010
Today you texted me for the first time in 8 months. Even though to everyone else it wouldn’t be much but, I broke down and cried. For once I didn’t feel so alone. Just knowing you thought of me even for a split second gives me hope. I love you.
After all the hurt I’ve gone through, I stopped believing in love. I stopped believing it when people told me they loved and would never leave me, because in my experience they always do. Last night you told me you love me. And for once I believed you. But I’m still scared. I wish I wasn’t.
In fifth grade, we were friends. Everyone said you liked me. In middle school, everyone said you liked her. You were always with her. Your friends made fun of me, and laughed at me. My secret? I still love you. We start high school in a few weeks. It’s my turn now.
I was diagnosed with cancer yesterday, it’s terminal, i am going to die. i see all of the people thinking about suicide, about how they want to die. I don’t understand it, i have to die, i have no choice, but they do. Choose life.
To the people who think about suicide and think that no one will care; If you kill yourself tonight, some one, somewhere is going to cry over your grave. If you kill yourself tonight the person you stumble into tomorrow that may change your life will never happen. Live your life for tomorrow.
I honestly think that elderly people are adorable, and when I see old couples holding hands I can only hope that one day that will be me.
Today, I realized the people that smile and laugh the most are the ones who are suffering the most.
Because laughter isn’t only the best medicine, it’s also the best disguise.
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I should know, of all people.
Want to know a secret? You are beautiful. Black, white, gay, straight, bisexual. Whether you are smart or quiet or impossibly in love with your best friend, someone out there cherishes your smile and gets butterflies when you walk into a room. Someone out there can’t stop thinking about you. You Are Beautiful. Don’t ever believe differently.
One day a man jumped off the Golden Gate bridge. When the police went searching through his house afterward, they found a note. It read: “Today I will walk to the bridge. If anyone smiles at me, I won’t jump.” I make a point to smile at everyone now.
My friends are jealous of me. My high school sweetheart is in the army. They love that he’s strong and protective of me; they think it’s so sweet that we’re staying together during his deployment. They live their fantasy through us. I don’t have the heart to tell them he was killed 21 days ago.
Two months ago, my long term boyfriend moved to Europe. The night before he left, I lost my virginity to him. I know I’m too young to be saying this, but I’m so in love with him, it hurts. We decided we should just be friends because of the distance. I’m pregnant with his baby. I’m sixteen. I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t know what to do.
Two months ago, my long term boyfriend moved to Europe. The night before he left, I lost my virginity to him. I know I’m too young to be saying this, but I’m so in love with him, it hurts. We decided we should just be friends because of the distance. I’m pregnant with his baby. I’m sixteen. I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t know what to do.
Every time I leave someone a friend or family member, I always tell them I love them. Just in case anything happens to them or me. I want those to be my last words to them if anything does happen.
You told me you loved me and would never stop. You told me we would grow old together. You told me about our future. Five months ago, we had our last messages to one another. I told you I loved you with all my heart, you told me to go kill myself. I still have the scars.
We laugh together, ask each other “What if?” You asked if I would still love you no matter what. I said yes and meant it. I asked if you would still love me if I was bald, you laughed and said probably not. I wish I wouldnt have asked because now I know that very soon, you won’t love me.
dreams are fantasy, the sadness is reality.
